We all want underwear that protects our valuables, while maximizing the desirability of our jewels. But, pockets? Adventure Underwear is hoping you will dig deep into your pockets and shell out some dough for their new underwear for the traveler concerned about security.
Dave Parrack of Gizmag writes that the underwear ‘was created to “provide a practical solution to safeguarding your valuables when you travel without sacrificing comfort or style.” It’s underwear made from 100% Australian superfine merino wool, a material “which is soft, lightweight, breathable, quick drying, and doesn’t hold odors.” It’s also helps keep the wearer warm in cold weather, and cool in hot climates.’ Examples of the underwear are pictured below:
So what do you think of the idea? The first thing that threw up a red flag for me was the mention of the word “wool.” Wool underwear? Really? Granted, I am not familiar with “merino wool,” but the idea of wool period as an undergarment is a off-putting, don’t you think?
The second problem looming on the American horizon pertains to the company’s rationale for the product. In their press documents, Adventure Underwear’s spokesperson writes, “Let’s say I’m lying on a beach in Brazil (or any popular tourist spot), I want to go for a swim but if I leave my valuables on the beach they’ll get stolen in a second. What do I do? I put my phone/passport/money/camera in my Adventure Underwear and go for a swim of course.”
Now I don’t know about any of you, but I would not have answered that question the way Adventure Underwear’s spokesperson did. If you put your phone, passport or camera in your underwear and go for a swim – pockets or not – you are going to end up with a phone, passport or camera that’s ruined or lost. Is a swim so absolutely necessary that he couldn’t take the valuables back to his hotel room?
Perhaps the most provocative question, however, is why he is not in a swimsuit to begin with. Therein lies my reference to “American beaches.” To be sure, beaches in other countries have a slightly more lax dress code, shall we say. So, is the idea here that Adventure Underwear’s product allows you to be nearly naked and still swim with your passport? Take your passport back to your hotel room like any smart person would, peel completely down to the best swimsuit of all – your birthday suit – and go for a fucking swim. If you’re so attached to your phone that you can’t put it down while swimming in some of the most beautiful places on Earth, then I kindly suggest that you stash in another spot that we all carry with us wherever we go.
Despite my less than favorable impression of Adventure Underwear’s idea, feel free to purchase your own be-pocketed pair of swim trunks – er, underwear – by following this link here. I have no affiliation with Adventure Underwear, and couldn’t care less whether you click on the link or not. I would, however, appreciate your answer to the poll below about this new “innovation” in underwear fashion.
