Tomorrow is St. Patrick’s Day, the one day of the year when everyone can be a little Irish. Like any other holiday, St. Patrick’s Day has some signature items we tend to associate with it. Unfortunately, they all tend to be more than a little on the tacky side. In fact, when it comes to holiday stuff, St. Patrick’s Day is, in my opinion, the hands-down tackiest (and I am Irish).
There is always some guy that thinks its “cool” to dress up like the love child of Elton John and the Riddler?
When I see a guy dressed like this, and he’s over the age of oh 18, I automatically assume he hears voices which sound something like Alvin the Chipmunk. He has other hats, too, when he’s not dressed like Larry the Leprechaun, but unfortunately, all of the others are made of tinfoil.
Or how about this poor guy? This does not say fuck me all night long, I don’t care how drunk you are or that you work at the everything is 99 cents store.
It says I still live with my parents and I play World of Warcraft too much.
Now if Larry the Leprechaun here was wearing something like this green jockstrap underneath his ever-so-fetching green vest, I would at least ask him if he knew how to play anything other than World of Warcraft, like World of Let’s Fuck In Our Jockstraps, perhaps.
Similarly, if he was fumbling around outside a men’s restroom at the local gay Irish pub, trying to figure out his lace front jockstraps, I would be a good Irish Samaritan and give him a hand (job).
And who cares about kissing some ole Blarney Stone? These guys have more interesting “stones” underneath their green speedos.
Happy St. Patrick’s Day. Be Sexy, Be Safe!